we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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