Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
