We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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