I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
