i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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