i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
