I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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