I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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