Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
