Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
