i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
