I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
