yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
