Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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