Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
