The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The air was thick with penises
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
