The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
