I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
