the condom got lost in my hair
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
