hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I can't turn off my feet"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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