Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
