so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
