Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
