Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
