I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
