Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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