trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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