so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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