Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
