is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
