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• (804): View more from Virginia

  omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.

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• (707): View more from California

  Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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