Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
