Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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