Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize