I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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