p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
