the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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