gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just high enough for therapy.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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