maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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