after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
