3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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