East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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