Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Welp...herpes.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
