My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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