She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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