I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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