If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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