You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
