I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize