The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
