He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
