just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
