I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
