i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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