thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
