you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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