We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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