Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
