I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
